Moving Forward

I mentioned to my shrink today that I had started blogging as a way to start desensitizing myself. She thought it was a great idea. I mentioned it to my dad too, but didn't give him my user name or any other info. If he stumbles across it then cool, but if I know for a fact that he or anyone else in my life is reading this, then I'm going to start getting really uncomfortable and censer things. As it is this is kinda on the edge of my comfort zone, I usually have a hard enough time vocalizing my mind to myself, let alone putting it out into the universe for anyone to read. But baby steps, right? And I'm not exactly keeping myself completely in the dark, I may not have told anyone where to find this, but I am using the same signature that I use other places. If they decide they really want to see it they can probably find it easily enough, I just don't have to know about it. Unless I see a response from someone, it's no more difficult than talking to the air. And if I come to realize that someone is reading this, then I don't have to start getting uncomfortable because odds are you have no idea who I am. I wouldn't have to start worrying about how what I say can be taken, or if you will start judging me for saying something stupid, because it's not something I have to deal with everyday, there are no feelings to worry about preserving. For maybe the first time in my life I can really express myself without automatically converting to who someone else needs me to be. It really is a powerful feeling to realize that I have the freedom to be completely myself.