Isolation

It's an odd thing to feel completely alone in a house full of people. My sister is home for spring break, and while she was actually pretty cool for the first couple days, she has reverted to her natural state as cunt-who-shrieks-at-all-times. And because she's home my father is feeling even more put upon because he must actually share space with other human beings. So he's pissy and worth avoiding. And to top it all off, my mother is talking about leaving him. Again. I've been encouraging it since I was maybe 14, but she's never going to do it, she has to much of her self-esteem tied up in him. It's not that he's a bad person, it's just that he's an ass when he doesn't get his way, and he hasn't been getting his way because he is unreasonable. I sympathize with him, really I do, but he's the one who fucked me up (psychologically, not literally), and really fixing that shit takes time. You can't just plot out a timeline of when my head will be on straight again, if it ever really was to begin with. He just doesn't get that. So because of these freaks I've stayed up in my room all day playing video games. Which unfortunately leads to my mother coming up to inform me that I'm hiding from the world. She hasn't yet, I've been preempting her by rationally explaining my mental state, but I can tell she want to. She means well, but the last thing you want to hear is that you're relapsing from someone who doesn't have a fucking clue. I'm not hiding from the world, I'm avoiding the fucking tension that threatens to destroy the scarce fibers that are left of my sanity. Maybe if I'm lucky I'll just go to sleep and not wake up tomorrow. Man I wish that I'd finished my degree by now so that I could support myself and get out of this hell.