Awkward Subject Matter

Hello again, imaginary friends! Since my last posting I have started up at school again, and classes are going well. Except for one thing that's a little annoying: I am getting very tired of reading about Freud. *Warning, contains subject matter relating to sex* It's getting ridiculous! All of my textbooks start out with the basic "this is the scientific method", "this is how you do an experiment", "these are the different types of studies" stuff as well as a little basic history of each of the fields. The next section covers Freud, so I have to read all the same stuff about him over and over again in 3 different books, all at the same time. Now, he was an interesting enough guy with some ... creative ... ideas, but most of his more specific concepts and causes just seem to come out of left field. Like he claims that when little girls realize that they have a different anatomy than boys, they suffer penis envy because they want something between their legs too. (Forgive me if this comes out a bit muddled, I'm sleepy and may not be remembering it perfectly) Because Mommy gave birth to them, it must be her fault for not providing them with this particular appendage, so they get mad at her, and because Daddy has one he must know the secret of how to get one. Therefore Daddy becomes sexually desirable, and because Mommy has Daddy, the little girls identify with Mommy. Eventually the little girls somehow rationalize that sex can give them a baby, which is something that comes out from between their legs, so a baby is close enough to a penis to sate their envy. (WTF?) And because poop is elongated and comes out from between your legs, somehow that also roughly equates to penis. So baby = penis = poop, especially in dreams. I think this man was dropped on his head as a child. Sorry, I just had to rant about the strangeness to someone, and while I'm quite difficult to offend, my family is weird about what is okay to talk about and what isn't, so I can't really rant to them.

On a less eccentric note, I have again forced myself to be brave and move forward into the social realms, this time in the form on online dating. I revisited a site I'd tried in the past - this time actually aware of my problems with social phobia - and I've actually managed to hit it off with a guy that I found there. He doesn't actually live anywhere near me, about 15-20 hours away by car maybe, so there's no pressure to meet up before I'm ready, which is nice. So far he seems like a really sweet guy, and when I find his letters in my inbox I get a little giddy feeling in my stomach even though we've only been writing each other for a week now. I'm very aware that I have a tendency to start crushing on nearly any guy that shows me a little attention, but all the same it's cool to feel like I'm actually connecting with someone in a way that has some romantic potential down the road. I've liked certain guys in the past and even been on a couple of dates (I asked, not them), but it's a very new feeling to have someone responding positively like this. Maybe this will go somewhere and maybe it won't, but I'm definitely moving in the right direction and it feels wonderful.